In love, how much does compatibility matter?
A conclusion you’ve probably heard during break ups is this: “We were ultimately just not compatible.” This could mean any number of things.
That matter-of-fact sounding conclusion could mean:
- We annoyed each other so much that we stopped feeling fondness toward each other.
- We realized that we didn’t actually respect each other’s values.
- We were baffled by complex conflicts and mismatches in our expectations.
- We didn’t know how to stop hurting each other through our default approaches to getting our needs met.
- It was hard to learn the lesson(s) that the relationship was offering to us.
What do we mean by “compatible?”
A dictionary definition describes compatibility as the ability to abide together harmoniously without problems or conflict.
In most long-term relationships, to expect a relatively consistent state of “compatibility” like this would be unrealistic and maybe even unnatural. Even in couples who don’t outwardly show their upset, conflict still exists. Continue reading “Are You My Type? Enneagram Compatibility”