How Do I Deal with the Downsides of My Enneatype?
* An Enneagram Burning Question * How do I deal with the negative or down sides of my enneatype? I ask this because I used to think that mine was such a great number to be (I realize the irony here). And now I struggle with the negative aspects of being my type. What […]
#4 Mistake to Avoid in Using the Enneagram
Mistake #4: Believing Your Type’s Interpretation We all believe our enneatype’s interpretations out of habit and out of the deep patterns our type structure has grooved into our minds. So why is it a mistake to believe them? Having a type is not a mistake, but believing what our type tells us as truth is. Our type’s beliefs […]
#3 of 4 Mistakes to Avoid Using the Enneagram
Mistake #3: Better Than – Less Than As humans, we are all prey to the comparison game. Sometimes we feel we are better than others. Other times we feel “less than” either in a particular aspect (physique, status, morals, etc.), or evaluating our worth in general (“I’m not as good a person as she is”). Neither of these […]
#2 of 4 Mistakes to Avoid Using the Enneagram
Mistake #2: Letting Your Type Be the End of the Story The resonance we feel when we discover our type can be uncanny. It can feel like seeing a scan of your psyche that makes sense of so many themes in your life. It’s compelling to say, “Oh, I’m such a Two!” whether we say it with […]
#1 of 4 Mistakes to Avoid Using the Enneagram
Mistake #1: Deciding Others’ Types for Them The Enneagram is such a powerful tool, that it can be powerful even when it is used “badly.” As singer-songwriter Ani Difranco says, “Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” And while I assume that anyone who is interested in using the Enneagram for personal development would […]
I Just Want to Be Loved! Is That So Wrong?
“Love” by Alexandr Milov. Photo © 2015 by Oleg Yarov. Used with permission. “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” ― Thomas Merton, Love and Living Is it just cliché to say “love is all you need?” Perhaps so, but […]
How Your Type is Blocking You from Love
“I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes.” –– Jean Vanier Do you spend a lot of time in your significant relationships feeling disconnected, hurt, avoidant or frustrated? If so, you are not alone. We often don’t understand how to get […]
Are You Brave Enough to Get Curious? (Part 4)
“I have no special talents. I am just passionately curious.” — Albert Einstein Curiosity lights up when we are in a playful mood, when we witness something surprising or marvelous. We experience wonder, we feel drawn in, and we feel a desire to understand something more deeply. And when we’re feeling reactive, stressed or upset, […]
Turning Toward Your Trouble (Part 3)
Responding to Reactivity (Part 3 of 4) “You’re pushing my buttons!” Most of us hate the experience of having our buttons pushed. We can feel helpless, out of control, young, and desperate to stop whatever’s disturbing us. Someone else’s behavior is hijacking our preferred state of operating. When we are “triggered,” when the proverbial […]
Essential #1 to Rock Your Inner Work (Part 2)
You’ve heard the adage, “Awareness is the first step.” In inner work, this is also true. Without conscious awareness, we can have the intention and desire to do things differently and effectively no keel in our boat— nothing to keep us steady and on-course through the winds and currents that buffet us about in daily […]
